I'm not a mommyblogger -- I'm a mommylurker. Now you can be too.

That's why we just launched the BlogHer Mommy & Family newsletter you see below. (Sign up here.)

As part of my work as a co-founder of BlogHer, I spend hours each week reading blogs by parents.

I think this is the best job I've ever had.

-----More below the break, including:

1. Bringing up Britney
2. Who's Your Daddy?
3. Only 69(thousand) Days Until School Starts
4. Birth - On Not Fighting It
5. What She Said

I first discovered the Internet in 1997. I had left CNN/Turner News, left my marriage and was holed up in a teeny apartment with a darling one-year-old, a little left-over pregnancy weight (okay a lot of leftover pregnancy weight), and a broken heart.

What do you do when you cannot hire a personal trainer and you cannot afford a babyjogger? You go online. You take your single-mother's fanny online just when some people are saying things like, "Oh, women will never go online." (Sounds a lot like, "Oh, women won't want the vote. Pshaw." Doesn't it?)

That's idiotic, I thought. I lived for the Internet, as I've written here before. Baby in bed, work tucked away, I surfed an entire virtual life. It just didn't matter that I couldn't afford The New York Times anymore. I read it ...and the AP...and the BBC...despite the fact that I was learning to fashion a journalism career around daycare schedules.

Flash forward to today. I've given up the pregnancy weight. Given up being single. My now ten-year-old sleeps through the night unless he's away on a camping trip. But what hasn't changed is my addiction to watching women suss out their inner lives online in stolen moments between feeding kids, working jobs, caring for family and friends.

And the most exciting writing, to me anyway, is writing by people who care about more than where their next outfit is coming from. People who look at Beltway politics and gas prices and immigration law think about what this means to life in this country in fifty years. People who are leading an examined life. Who are thinking about their actions and values.

That's why I read the momosphere. I have seen, occasionally, some writing by some mothers online dismissed as frothy, silly, superficial. If you have never read all of a mother's work before (and don't appreciate that a movie review is by somewho who experienced severe post-partum depression or a miscarriage within the past year), or you don't stick around for the bad days, or the good stuff, or whatever you want to call it, it'll likely be difficult for you to connect with their full body of work. Hopefully I can now help with some of that challenge: With BlogHer's weekly newsletter on Mommy & Family, I'll help you keep up to speed with what mothers are blogging.

Here's a sampler: Newsletter #1. And while it is a far different beast from the ten newsletters I oversaw at Women.com, some things should change:

June 21, 2006

LOOK: Joy Unexpected made #1 on Flickr with this photo of her son.

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the first edition of BlogHer's Mommy & Family email newsletter, devoted to a round-up of the funniest, smartest parents alive. This week our mother-, mommy-, mama- and muthabloggas took on:

1. Bringing up Britney
2. Who's Your Daddy?
3. Only 69(thousand) Days Until School Starts
4. Birth - On Not Fighting It
5. What She Said

Here goes...

1. Bringing up Britney

CityMama started my week off right by proving that someone -- namely her -- is willing to parent Britney Spears. In a fabulous speech, Stefania calls for somebody who loves the star (parents? handlers? helloooo?), to take responsibility for how Britney is treating her child:

"We all agree: no one is a perfect parent and being stalked by paparazzi 24/7 has to be horrifying. Yes, yes, yes. But, I've said it before and I'll say it again, why aren't her loved ones helping her? Wouldn't you reach out to a friend that was obviously hurting that badly? Haven't we all had to talk some sense into a friend or loved one that wasn't thinking clearly? I'm not trying to get all Mommy Wars on her ass. I just really wanna know: where is that person for Britney?"

It's the best Mother-Knows-Best speech I've seen since Sweetney delivered her tough love to The Pussycat Dolls. Or since Heather from GoFugYourself publicly upbraided Dina Lohan. And since my ten-year-old secretly (or so he thinks) wants to marry Lindsay, I take a personal interest.

But all is not lost -- just as I was despairing that every starlet thrust into my son's 'tweeny world view would need this kind of tough love, Twizzle from Kimchi Mamas posted about the lone Asian supermodel of my youth, Phoebe Cates. Twizzle's post, Hapa Like Me, is a great piece of self discovery.

I also recommend Meghan's Pearls of Wisdom, on the high cost of inheriting a strand of her grandmother's pearls. My take on Meghan's message: There's nothing like relying your own backbone. Unless you're relying on your middle-fingerbone, and using it on your mother-in-law, as Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored did Monday. (Is it safe for work? Sort of!)

But Britney wasn't the only pop-cultural buzz in the momosphere this week: Busymom posted about watching a new starlet in the making: "I'm sitting here at lunch watching some music industry types recruit the next big Australian country music star," she writes. "Lest you think I'm eavesdropping (again), it's hard not to hear Mr. Radio from the street..."

Poor Mrs. Kennedy is so sick she could barely tap out this snark about a new ad campaign. Happily, she put our entertainment ahead of her own health. Whereas Mom-101 says her diatribe about using popular songs in commercials, "On Behalf of My Entire Industry: Um, Sorry." is all for her daughter:

"One day I'm going to be humming a song in her vicinity. It will be something with great meaning to me. Something that once shook me to my core, something with the ability to careen me back in time to a place of profound pain or love or angsty teenage rebellion. And upon hearing this, Thalia will say, 'Oh! The maxi pad song!' And I will cry."

2. Who's Your Daddy

I barely got myself to three Father's Day celebrations this Sunday (my brother's, my father's, my beau's) thanks to a motherlode of stories about baby daddies. You could click through almost every blog in this blogroll and find yummy, mushy love to some menfolk.

My faves were reading the dads in their own words on Mommybloggers, which devoted this entire category to Father's Day. I recommend you read them all, especially Brian Smith's The Stay At Home Dilemma, and Letters Never Sent a note by Buzz of Buzzstuff to the father he lost after his parents divorced 28 years ago. The hankie-free nature of his writing...made me need one.

3. Only 69,000 Days Until School Starts

Thank heaven I'm not alone in this summer insanity. I immediately felt better this week when I read, "Whose idea was it to have TEN weeks off of school?" from Mom To The Screaming Masses. After watching her six children turn a one-hour summer study session into a mosh pit, she added, "Oh MY, you people who homeschool your kids...I bow DOWN to you."

At Three Kid Circus, Jenny tossed her own plans in favor of a Lord-of-the-Flies throw-down with the smallest inhabitants of her island. Piggy was missing near the end...And Chris' kids wrote start-up comedy at the beach, complete with new syntax for the kindergarten set. So. Dam [sic]. Funny.

"One day down!" celebrated Mir on Woulda Coulda Shoulda, who practiced her "All-Seeing Eye" technique at a local restaurant - to no avail. Troll Baby gave mom Karen a major owie and a new look -- think Mike Wazowski -- with the sharp edge of a book during a diaper change (yes, cringe, the poor woman is wounded). And speaking of eyeballs, some lunatic attempted to give Lucinda the evil eye recently. Guess who won: Thrown Down At The Play Pit.

Now...a moment of sheer, teeth-gritting silence for people traveling. Such as Surrender Dorothy: After Prepping to Vacation with Childless People, she ended up with Two Toddlers, Five Toys, Six Adults and One Rainy Weekend. Bless her heart.

Some moms, however, are on, or thinking about, the bliss of vacation. She's not there yet, but jenandtonic posted that she's wondering what to wear to BlogHer '06. (My advice to all you lovelies? Don't you dare wear ANYTHING that prohibits you from lifting drinks with little umbrellas in them.) In a rare calm moment, Jen experienced actual airflight without any of her four children, and Jenn of Mommy Needs Coffee appears to be an extra on the Pirates of the Caribbean II set. And if she doesn't bring me back a lock of Johnny Depp's mustache-hair, I'll never forgive her.

4. Birth - On not fighting it

I am a sucker for a good birthing story. I think it's because my own Southern mama really never told us about her four live births--except to whisper that "you can always tell the women who've had the most babies--because they are the least likely to go on and on about it." Color me guilty -- and my fave bloggers, too: Witness Grace, who blogs the story of her daughter Molly's birth on its 15th anniversary--to a squealing audience of M's teen-girl posse. And don't miss Izzy, celebrating birthday numero uno for Baby P.

But there's another kind of birthing story that my mother and I both love: Stories about embracing change when you need to -- even when it's agony. I watched two moms experience profound change this week. On Badgermama, Liz closed a chapter of her own: Tomorrow, snip snip snip on the tubes. And on Ninjapoodles, Belinda gave the ultimate gift of love to her horse, Montrachet, by letting him go: Last Embrace. (Not safe for work if sobbing will get you fired.)

5. What She Said

Karen Walrond broke her silence on the Mommy Wars this week. Thank goodness. Because now when people ask me how I feel about the damaging exchanges that have occurred between working mothers and stay-at-home mothers over the past few months, I have my answer: "What she said, uh-huh." In Mommy Wars, Shmommy Wars, Karen summarized the debate so far (you won't believe how few words she used to get it right). Then she ended the argument:

"[M]y point is, tearing each other down instead of supporting each other for the choices we make serves no purpose whatsoever. While the parenting choices other women make may not be right for me, I have to trust that those choices are right for them, and really, how can I judge that? I just wish we'd equally fervently attempt to create change that's good for all of us. I mean, really, we're all in this together."

Then it got even better: One of Karen's readers, Kim, applied Karen's maxim to the Holy Grail of Online Motherhood. That's right...the Breastfeeding Wars. Oh yes she did. Kim wrote:

"Over on Livejournal, there is an even bigger and more volatile war -- the war between women who choose to breastfeed their infants and women who choose to use formula, even if it's just to supplement breastfeeding. There are those who take this debate to such colossally high levels of ridiculousness that the only reaction I have is, in all honestly, to sit back and laugh nervously. I'm not a mother and never have been, but it still just strikes me that both sides are overlooking the case that either way, there is a child that is being fed when so many children aren't, and that this is ultimately a good thing, right?....

So I did what any of you would do: I bought Kim and Karen two tickets to the United Nations, where they will cover for Angelina Jolie during her maternity leave.

Have a terrific week - and think of me this weekend at Bloggercon, as I hang out listening to Mary Tsao who is speaking at the Berkeley Cybersalon on Mommyblogging, and the geek I still want to be when I grow up, Lisa Williams, who is leading a discussion on emotions and blogging. And, as always, Jory and Elisa.

Best, Lisa

As I said, you may sign up here. :)

Comments

[jenB]

this was an assload of work. YOU are amazing. im saving a special kiss for you.

[Suburban Turmoil]

Woo hoo! I love it. Thanks for consolidating some of my favorite reads- and for the mention! :)

[Lisa Stone]

Thank you JenB, Lucinda! There will be more. This week's letter is a reader's guide. Coming up next week...the latest hot news about moms as an industry...

And thanks for the encouragement.

[Mom101]

WOW what a comprehensive wrap-up! It's like reading the entire sports section the day after the opening day of the Olympics, only I actually give a crap about the stories here. Bravo to you.

[Lisa Stone]

Mom101 - heh. The Mommyblogging Olympics...Hmmm.

[Mary Tsao]

Great round up and write up. Thanks, Lisa!

[Jenny]

Wow, just... wow. Wonderful!

[Belinda]

Yes, I JUST got to this, but wow! Reading the whole thing, I mean. You are awesome, and if I don't get to actually meet you I will be SICK. OK, sickER. Whatever.

Really great, great work you're doing.